Rather than making him furious as well as upsetting myself, shouldn’t I better just rejoice at the birth of a new relationship (for a less lyrical local term, dynamic), a kind that most subs really long for?

They are searching, my friends; so many classifieds, so many pages… Those are not your typical dating profiles “You are 6f tall and you don’t smoke”. No. Those are the earnest offerings of one’s soul, body, and sanity. Of one’s back, wrists, and mouth. Of one’s heart and lungs. Those are quiet sighs out of wells of solitude.

Just imagine the way “normal” people search for each other. Now, the “peculiar” people are challenged a much greater deal to find someone, and they covet it to the degree you can’t imagine. Little ones want Daddies. Submissive ones want Masters. Their goodbye’s hurt more than a whip; their healing trust is sweeter than a morphine shot. A soul swings herself in oblivion just to feel weightlessness. Only in weightlessness is freedom. Subs seek freedom in humility and surrender. This is my understanding so far, my friends.

We are a couple of weeks old. He is amazing and intriguing. Why me? I’m far away. I’m taken. I’m a brat. He hates brats. You must comprehend this great thirst for unity. The way his desire gropes for mine (forbidden and phantom for now) in the darkness of underground network of countless fibers, makes me wonder… See, I have not yet had my short circuit. He has, and he knows what it is. Otherwise he wouldn’t be so sure of my submissiveness and his power. So my question is, how is he more assured than I am? What if he knows me better than I know myself? What if this is exactly the thing you CANNOT lose, the thing you MUST cherish?

But I tell him yesterday he can break my heart. His pause is long, and his answer is proportionately carefree: “Lol you really think that?” – “Just tell me you won’t, and I’ll stop worrying” – “I won’t [kiss smilie]”. This paradoxical kissie coming from my lip-clenched demon resonates more than his orders and floods my veins with warm milk. “Here you are”, I say to myself.

I’ve been on here for a couple of days, my vanilla friends. The smoke & vermilion painted hotel is called FetLife. To me, it is a salon and a library. To you, it might look like bedlam. I’d be happy to introduce you nevertheless. I might dress as a crazy nurse doing that 😉