As He Told Me

As He told me, I took a pen and a sheet of paper. As He told me, I dimmed the light and sat down. As He told me, I started writing, and He did stand behind my back the whole time. “This is over” The only ritual I ever needed was the one to set myself free, alone in my...

Element

So you called such behaviour childish. Sudden. Even petty. Where you live, you must have seen the vigor with which water breaks against hard ground. Imagine the element flowing. Suddenly her path is blocked by massive lumps of ice, so cold even birds don’t fly above...

Black Paper

I’m learning how to draw, and live on Pinterest and Instagram. I like subscribing to artists, and love when they do the same. Bill D. followed me on Instagram recently! When he did, I froze for days and didn’t want to post any more pictures. My dad said...

Pauses

I see time as a string of pauses; and matter, as a conglomeration of gaps. Fowles called poetry an attempt to escape; basically, a suicide, or a “stop” button. Poetry is like a web of trembling pauses. Weaving it is a not so much a skill as it is temptation, tripping...

One Night Stand

I was recently “recommended” to “experience a one night stand at least once”. By a man, of course. Well… One of my secretly favorite books (I say “secretly”, because just like the heroine, I can’t speak to others about...

The Day My Shadow…

“The day my shadow gets bored of dragging behind me”, the Stranger said in faint flickering candlelight, “I shall be thankful to her alone: in her, my most faithful one, lies a grain of existence”. “I have played different roles in life, but forgotten who myself is. I...

Vanity

Through the dust of experiences and through the veil of misunderstandings, I was staring at myself at the vanity table, piercing the axle and nullifying my mind, spirit and body. Outside, the butterfly was struggling with the window glass, as if it was scary out there...

A Question

I was thinking … we rather don’t cry because of people, or because of situations that we have complicated beyond the necessary. We cry because of the ghosts from our own nights, from those forgotten, terrible, unforgiven dreams. We cry in anticipation and in...

An Overnight Project

Bansheeland, day unknown When I arrive in your town, I ask people around where the street is where all hookers gather at night. I put on my shortest skirt, over-the-knee boots, slutty makeup, and too much of sweet perfume. My shadow looks like an alien, and so does my...

Switch

“May I hear your words in dark?” From my own house, untied (because, sadly, not despite) and with the switch in plain sight (because, not despite), I ask the distance for permission to turn off the lights. Being ordered to instead of allowed to is my longing;...

Limits

My borders are not my limits. They are my doors. They are to be respected. Let’s play. You ring a bell. Or knock. What’s your style? How subtle are you? How elegant would it be to have the key… to stealthily walk in at night… to watch me being me. I’ll tell you a...

Songs

They say when the student is ready the teacher will appear. So do my songs start appearing before me now. Of course it seems like it is me who finds them: I browse Youtube and Spotify, remembering what else I wanted to check out, hearing tips from friends… But...

Mindfuck

Entwined impossibilities spin the wheel of our role-play. He talks to me not knowing I don’t really talk to him. I’m carried away by a fantasy within a fantasy, but my Observer is really mean. That inner p-zombie of mine is laughing at my silly little girl. –...

Words

Owing to English not being my native language, I probably don’t experience it all the way natives do. A word has a semantic meaning and a sound. I like listening to a sound. One condition: a word needs to be whispered. If you speak it audibly, it will solidify from...

Trust I’m Not A Guy

This is funny. I’ve already heard from a couple of guys (usually after a productive Kik talk) that they worry whether after ALL THAT I’m not actually a guy having his little perverted fun. Kinksters, come on! You can handle that! Well, firstly, I can actually...

Recently Messed Up

I’d like to say I’m a fresh out of the oven kinkster, but realistically speaking I’m still in the oven. Being simmered by some and grilled by others, I discover new things every day; things about myself and about people. Just like Alice exploring the sides of the well...